I'm Kool Moe Dee

Kool Moe Dee I'm Kool Moe Dee Lyrics
1.Go See The Doctor

Three days later, go see the doctor...

I was, walking down the street, rocking my beat
Clapping my hands and stomping my feet
I saw a little lady so neet and petite
So was so sweet, yes i wanted to meet
So i asked this lady could i take her out
We could wine and dine and we could talk about
The birds and the bees in my waterbed
And you could treat me like a buddha and bow your head
We continued to talk, and before you knew it
We were at my house and it was time to do it
As soon as i finished, i lost my poise
Ran outside and told all my boys
I said 'listen up fellas, come over here, bust it'
They said 'did you get it?' i said 'yeah,' they said 'how was
it?'
The poontang was dope and you know that i rocked her
But three days later, go see the doctor

I rocked her to the left, rocked her to the right
She felt so good, hugged me so tight
I said 'good night'
Three days later...
Woke up fussing, yelling and cussing
Drip drip dripping and puss puss pussing
I went to the bathroom and said 'mama mia!'
I'm a kill that girl next time i see her
The madder i got, the more i reminice
Why is my thing thing burning like this?
Well i remember the first day i saw that girl
I just couldn't wait to rock her world
I said 'hey good looking, what you got cooking?'
What have i done stuck my dick in?
Now i know why her ex-boyfriend dave
Calls her mrs. microwave
Cause she was hotter than an oven and i had to learn
The hard way stay in the microwave too long you get burned
But the poontang was dope and you know that i rocked her
But three days later, go see the doctor

I went to the doctor's office, i said 'what have i got?'
He said 'turn around boy and take this shot'
I looked at him like he was crazy, and i said 'what?'
Ain't nobody sticking nothing in my butt
He turned and said in a real deep voice
'have it your way, if that's your choice
And i'll put it down if you want me to put it
But don't blame me if it turns into a foot
Extending from the middle of your body
And the next time you see your cute hottie
You won't be able to screw, the only thing you can do
Is just kick her, so go take karate'
As i turned around to receive my injection
I said 'next time i'll use some protection'
If i see another girl and i get an erection
I'm walking in the other direction
Cause i don't wanna do the sick sick dance
So i'm keeping my prick inside my pants
And if i see another girl and i know i can rock her
Before i push up i'll make her go see the doctor


2.Dumb Dick(Richard)

(du-dumb) (dumb)
(d-d-du-du-dumb) (dumb)
(du-dumb) (dumb)
(d-d-d-dumb) (dumb)

Well, listen up, homeboys, i got somethin to say
About a homeboy from back in the day
His name was richard, some called him rick
But if you knew him like me, you'd call him dick
When we were growin up, we stuck with each other
Like white on rice, he was kinda like a brother
We had a lotta fun when we were kids
We always overlooked the dumb things he did
But the fun was over when we got to high school
Cause it was time for gettin girlies, so we had to be cool
We had a lotta girlies, and our friends were impressed
One thing went wrong, rick got obsessed
We wouldn't go to class, always think about ass
Not if he was gonna pass, if he would just last
Girls was all he was thinkin about
If the school was all boys, he'da been dropped out
When he did drop out, he felt no shame
And if you ask me, he had the right name
Cause he hated to go, but he loved to come
That's why i call him dick, cause dick is dumb
Dick

(d-d-d-du-dumb) (dumb)
(dumb dick)
(d-d-d-du-dumb)

He wouldn't go to school, but he had to survive
So he went out and got him a 9 to 5
Although he was lazy, he had to work
Cause he had a lot of girls, he needed money, the jerk
As fast as he made it, his money was spent
When it came to girls, he didn't care where he went
He'd hound em like a dog, so we used to say 'fetch!'
And it was no tellin what he would catch
He was in the doctor's office almost every week
He became so popular, everybody'd speak
When he walked in they'd say (hi rick)
And when he passed by, they'd say (dumb dick)
Really hard-headed, cause he said he had juice
But it was cause of his hard head, that he was so loose
He was in love with another girl every day
And when we asked him why, he'd only say
(i'm the kinda guy who likes to have fun
I need a lotta girls, can't have just one)
I can understand that, but this is kind of insane
Sometimes i wonder if his brain
Was his...

(d-d-d-du-du-dumb) (dumb)
(dumb dick) (2x)

He lost his girl when he lost his job
So to keep himself from livin like a no-good slob
He hustled on the streets, cause he had no choice
And every day you'd hear his voice
Sayin 'jumbos! i got it good'
But he never made the money that a hustler could
Cause when he was standin out on the corner
If a girl walked by, he was right up on her
He was so hot, his heat couldn't be measured
To him his business was his pleasure
A one-track mind, and as a matter of fact
He changed his name to daddy mack
The people on the streets he was workin for
Cut him off, now he's just plain old poor
And all his girls left, because they never cared
The were leeches for a dollar, and they got their share
Homeboy disappeared like a magic trick
And everybody wanna know what happened to dick
Well, he's still around, but now he's a bum
Chasin bag ladies, he's the same old dumb
Dick


3.Bad Mutha

Other mc's, i want you to know
If you ever wanna battle me, don't move slow
Come and get it cause i'm waitin and i got nowhere to go
Head to head, toe to toe, rhyme for rhyme, blow for blow
We can throw

Badself

When i get busy, the crowd gets dizzy
And when i'm on the stage, the party people say, 'is he
Really human or is he a robot?'
Because when i'm on the microphone nobod-
Y does the things that i do
My voice will guide you
Once you hear it, it stays inside you
Hypnotizing and mesmerizing
The cerebral cortex, but without realizing
You become confused and so enthused
Cause the rhymes i use can make you lose
Total control, and if i choose
To call you the paperboy you'll spread the news
Like paul revere: 'a real rapper is here!'
Yeah, 'moe dee is coming, moe dee is coming'
And teeth will chatter, plagiarism scatter
Nothing is the matter, you're just looking at a
Real rap trooper with a power so super
After battlin me, i guarantee you won't recouper-
Ate cause i am great, i can make you hate
To ever look in the mirror and affiliate
Yourself with anything but an average person
Lovin my success but envious and cursin
You want my autograph, don't act like a sucker
Just gimme a pound cause i'm a bad, bad, bad mutha-

Mutha-, mutha-, muthaf-

I put a hurtin on rappers, egos are crushed
Pride is swallowed, asses are bust
Hearts are taken, souls cremated
Lips are sealed and they hate it
Overrated rappers made it
On a wing and a prayer with old beats updated
But i'm not like you bitin barbarics
Rappers with the fresh beats and weak lyrics
I'm cyanide, deadly and lethal
I never run out, i got an automatic refill
I never get cold, i only get lukewarm
When i wanna get hot, i have a real brainstorm
Ideas start flowin, my talents start showin
And if the music stops, moe dee keeps goin
I'm bigger than life and deeper than death
The world of rap is like a kitchen and i am the chef
Boy, are these mc's really startin to irk me
Make it to the top, then try to jerk me
Ask em who's the best, their shoulders start shruggin
Like they don't know, they must be buggin
But i like the controversy, it makes me blood-thirsty
And one day i'll make them all beg for mercy
So remember that if you wanna act like a sucker
Don't ever make me mad cause i'm a bad, bad, bad mutha-

Mutha-, mutha-, muthaf-

I'm the kinda rapper that a dummy won't dig
My iq's too high, my words are too big
My voice too clear and my rhymes are ample
Some things i won't do, and here's an example
I won't make a 'la-di-da-di', an 'oh veronica'
A 'dear ivette' or a la-'latoya'
I'm not tryin to dis the rappers that made these cuts
As a matter of fact i like them, but
Records like that are for the average mc
Not for the highly rated moe dee
I have a formula, i'm like a scientist
And i must put words together like this
My voice is a ?????, coming out an orophus
Expressing ?????, verbally or if it's
Mental ??asymetrics?? that makes me so electric
By spontaneous combustion an explosion is expected
A walking time bomb that can't be disconnected
I'm a rhymer with a timer, i'm a english dialectic
My ideas are impeccable, rhymes are paragon
My soliloquy will affect ya like farrakhan
Love me or hate me, agree or debate me
Watchin suckers gather round, bow down ????? be-
Cause what i do orally i something so morally
Stimulating, emmulating heat that's corally
My mind is both flexible and resillient
Pugnacious, tenacious ??????, i'm brilliant
Through rigorous training, it's self-explaining
Why i'm standing on the top and that's where i'm remaining
My brain rocks like mr. spock's
And any other mc's are knocked out the box
So you know where to kiss, so line up and pucker
Sucker mc's, i'm a bad, bad, bad, bad (mutha-)

Mutha-, mutha-, muthaf-

Now i was never solo, i was always in a group
So now you new jacks are a little too souped
So if you think you could take mine
Then come on and make my
Day, you idiot, you knew from the giddy-up
You didn't have a chance
But if you want drop the pants
I spank that ass so fast that the next time you glance
Everyone will be laughin and you'll be the stock
Cause that's what's good about havin you mc's on the jock
I could go on and on and on and on for days
But everytime i speak i get unwanted protegees
If you've been lucky so far, don't press your luck
Cause you don't really want none cause i'm a bad, bad, bad
(mutha-)

Mutha-, mutha-, muthaf-


4.Little Jon

Little jon is on the streets late night on the ave.
Lookin at the pretty girls and the things he'd love to have
Street life heroes don't mean zero, but that's not what he sees
Sidewalk stars and fancy cars makes him week at the knees

He was little jon
He slipped away
He was little jon
Slipped away
He was little jon
He slipped away
He was little jon
End today

Hangin out in the midnight hour, comin home late at night
Nothing's in the kitchen but a can of beer, his father wants to
fight
He's not ready, he's not ready for this, there's but so much he
can take
He wants to get away but he doesn't wanna work, lookin for a
easy break

He was little jon
He slipped away
He was little jon
Slipped away
He was little jon
He slipped away
He was little jon
End today

Kids at school are really cruel, they tease him about his
clothes
His shoes are worn, his coat is torn, he's hungry and it shows
He can't take it, he says, 'forget about this, i know what i can
do
I'll stand on the corner, make money and i'm gonna live better
than all of you'

He was little jon
He slipped away
He was little jon
Slipped away
He was little jon
He slipped away
He was little jon
End today

( *street scene: sirens, shots* )

Years have passed and at long, long last he's really lookin good
But he's not livin comfortable, he's foolin the neighborhood
Competition is jealous, the cops are hot, they all want him to
fail
Now his only choice in life is to die or live in jail

He was little jon
He slipped away
He was little jon
Slipped away
He was little jon
He slipped away
He was little jon
End today

( *street scene: sirens, car pulls up* )
'..investigate homicide on 116th and eighth'
'..homicide on 116th and eighth'
'..what we got here?'
'looks like a homicide, chief'
'shame. another one bites the dust'


5.Do You Know What Time It Is?

Do you know what time it is?

Girlies are partying, touching my body and
Talking to me like i'm a kindergartian
Today she's on mine, tomorrow she's on his
But don't worry about me, because i know what time it is
Time to get mine while you try to get yours
I'll get mine pause in those silky drawers
Take you to the cleaners and i got a trick
Cause all you're ever going to get is a piece of my dee-dee-duh
Didn't you know that my girlie, my toe
It's easy to come, but harder to go
Hope you got a good heart and you're a good sport
Cause i'm a treat you like beaver on a basketball court
I'm gonna run you around, take you up and down
Take you out and leave you in the lost and found
So if you wanna be down, miss listen to this
Before you deal with me, you'd better know what time it is

Do you know what time it is? (tell me do you know?) (repeat 3x)

Some girlies are pretty, some girlies are fine
But most girlie girlies like to play with your mind
They like sporting new gold and riding in cars
And most of them, they don't care who you are
They're materialistic and unrealistic
And to most of them you're nothing but another statistic
Whoever's got the money, they're all on his
Y'all can save it for david, cause i know what time it is

Do you know what time it is? (tell me do you know?) (repeat 3x)
Check the clock!

Put your gucci watch on and synchronize the time, and let's rock

Girls for me come a dime a dozen
And that's why i never never was a
Situation where i could get jerked
Like a mechanic, all i do is bodywork
Want my money? you must be a fool
Cause like billy idol said, i'm gigalo cool
Moe dee, that's me, introduce yourself, miss
But don't try to be slick, cause i know what time it is
Time to make sure that the girlies stay poised
String 'em out so they will always want more
Don't come around here and try to get richer
Don't ask me for no money, cause baby baby baby
Bet you don't know me from a can of paint
And i bet you think i'm fronting but i tell you i ain't
And i bet you think you know, but i'll tell you like this:
I'll be you don't know (know what?) what time it is

Do you know what time it is? (tell me do you know?) (repeat 4x)

It's time to get money, time to get paid
It's time to have fun, it's time to get laid
Like to front like i'm poor, i don't drive, instead
I be chilling in a jetta with my man that be red
Riding all around the city and half the world
And after talking from girl to girl
All you ladies seem to sing the same old song
Makes it hard for me when a real girl comes along
Now i'm a veteran, a girl all-pro
And as many as i've had, i still don't know
So i made a little system so i can tell
Doesn't always work, but what the hell?
Don't ask me for nothing, and don't give me nothing
And keep it like that for about a whole month and
Half and i'll laugh and maybe one day miss
Maybe you can be down, maybe you can be down
Maybe you should be down cause you know what time it is

Do you know what time it is? (tell me do you know?) (repeat 3x)
Check the clock!

Put your gucci watch on and synchronize the time, and let's rock


6.Rock Steady

I roll hard (oh-oh, oh my god!)
That's right, baby, i run the yard
Got the bass for your bottom, if you feel it in your butt
Do your dance, and i tell you what
When this party is over, there'll be no more rappin
You and i can spread out, and anything can happen
If the party's not enough, and you still think you're ready
You ain't gotta clap your hands and dance, but we can still rock
steady

Rock steady
Rock steady
Rock steady, baby

If the party's not enough, and you still wanna rock, say...

Rock (rock) steady (steady)
Come on, rock (rock)

Rock (rock) steady (steady)
Come on, rock (rock) steady (steady)

Am i a trooper? i'm a super scooper
I enlist girls like i was a recruiter
Gettin ready for an all-out war
I'm a lover, that's out to score
I wanna see you at the party, we can dance a bit first
And if you really rock your body, we ain't even gotta converse
After the party, all i wanna do is come over
And tell you that i want you
And if you don't wanna go, just listen to the drums
Feel the beat - and it'll make you come
And don't try to front, cause i'll call your bluff
Don't kick me no bass, cause i got enough
Just let the music keep flowin, watch your head start goin
Up and down, suggestin 'yes' without ever knowin
You'll be soaken wet and drenched, sweaty and ready
But not to clap your hands and dance, but you can still rock
steady

Rock (rock) steady (steady)
Come on, rock (rock) steady (steady)

Rock steady, baby

Ladies, if you've been gettin the short end of the stick
Come over here and get some of this real di-
Different kind of lovin that i call rockin
Oh boy, can i rock? all night long
Cause my rap is strong
I betcha i'll rock your socks
Cause i'm a super lover, undercover
Watch your sister and your mother
Scream, dream, cream, kick, bite and fight each other
I make em drool, cause i'm so cool
I got the tool to rule, and i guarantee you'll
Encounter a night like never before
If you ever walk through my party doors
You come over and over, again and again
And next time you'll bring a friend
Because at my party you gotta be ready
Cause i'm takin no shorts, baby doll, i'ma make you rock steady

Come on, rock (rock) steady (steady)
Come on, rock (rock) steady (steady)
Rock (rock) steady (steady)
Everybody, rock (rock) steady (steady)

Rock steady, baby


7.Monster Crack

(monster crack)

1986 - return of the horror flicks
More deadly than _the omen_, a killer and a showman
Like the devil in _the excorcist_
But this flick can cause a heart attack
Cause it's more than action-packed
It's alive and killin and the star is a villain
And his name is monster crack
The crack monster

He talks to ya like he's alive
And when he talks like bees to a hive
The people come runnin, the older and the young'in
The place he lives in is the house they hung in
He wants your money, only your money
He'll make you feel good for a real fast twenty
The bill is passed and the dollars go fast
The feeling is high but the high don't last
Long enough for you to even read a paper
But you still thirst and hunger for the vapor
Although he is an animate, he'll make you feel
That he can breathe, think, talk and bleed for real
You should stay away cause all he's about
Is just makin you broke and stringin you out
It only takes one kiss and a deep, deep breath
Then you're hooked for life cause it's the kiss of death

Like savoir-faire he's everywhere
He'll hook an innocent baby cause he don't care
He loves to eat, girls and boys, and he's nothin but poison
The biggest ????? of michael jackson he's makin noise in
The streets he's notorious, to pushers he's glorious
To girls he's a pimp cause he turns em to the whoriest
Materialistic nymphomaniacs
That'll do anything for monster crack
Give away her body, steal from her brother
Fight her father or sell her mother
Cause when you're possessed by crack, god bless
Your soul, cause he'll take the rest

The power of the mind should not be wasted
But the agony of defeat is always tasted
By those who chose to willingly oppose
??????? instead they follow their nose
And the more you get, the more you want
You're killin your brain out, so later on it'll haunt
You you become insatiable, you can't get enough
When your money gets low, things really get rough
It's your only objective, you lose all perspective
On life, you're obsessed, possessed and defective
Losin weight and disappearin but still perseverin
Your body tells you no, but all you're hearin
Is the crack talk

In south africa many a brother died
Tryin to fight back against apartheid
Bombs are flying, people are dying
Terrorists terrorizing and the whole world's trying
To prevent another war, but i got a surprise
There's already - one right before your eyes
And we're nowhere near, the end this is only the beginning
Until this point the crack has been winning
Weakening hearts, corrupting minds
A stone cold killer, very easy to find
And once he's caught by the law, he can't go to jail
Cause he's nothin but a little piece of matter for sale
Usin people like pawns in the game of chess
And he is the king, more powerful than the rest

(monster crack
The crack monster)


8.The Best

(the best)

Like other music rap is an art
And if you wanna get the feeling, got to feel it in your heart
You need brain power, dictation
Vocabulary, articulation
Creativity and originality
Execution of a feud formality
Versatility and a voice that's loud
With the ability to take a crowd
To its apogee, and always has a
Feeling like you're havin a mental orgasm
Makin all minds come to one conclusion
You are the best and it's not an illusion

(the best)
(rockin my beat)
(the best)

For instance
If this record was an atom, i'd be the nucleus
The center of attention, kool moe dee and i'm just
Like the core of an apple, the priest of the chapel
With the mic in my hand i'm like a surgeon with a scalpel
Ready to operate the rhymes that i create
Sounds like music to your ears cause i can combinate
Bass and treble to create a level
Of highs and lows of sounds that goes
With syncopated concrete-created
Beats that meet the standard of a street credit
Gotta critique a rhyme if it's weak
You won't wanna speak if your rhymes not peak
With verbs and nouns and adjectives
Combined to make a phrase
That'll play with a beat
Stop and start, slow it down at a part
And totally amaze
The whole crowd, leave em in a state of awe
Cause i'm as perfect as a diamond without a flaw
And yes, i'm legendary, also very, very
Educated, proficient and extraordinary
In my field the other rappers yield
A knight in shining armor and the mic is my shield
In rap i'm vital, the other rappers' idol
The best mc and moe dee's my title
But you can call me kool

Now when i rock instead of
Just average i'm better
Than the average man
And that's why i can
Make a real human feel like a manakin
I mean i'm cold heart ???? from the time i walk in
I'll shock ya and amaze ya
Hit ya, then i'll daze ya
Either way i'm gonna phase ya
Cause i'm sharp as a razor
When i'm rhymin to the cut
You know what?
I'm the best mc
Many imitate me
They never would admit it
They just can't get it
I rhyme like the rest
But the juice i possess
Always seems to be more
I'm a rhyme connoisseur
My taste for the beat
Is also elite
I'm the best hip-hopper from off the street
Cause when i'm rhymin on the mic i always take control
Can't another rapper touch me with a 10 ft. pole

I rhyme a 100 miles an hour
With lightning-speedin power
Make the sweetest of the sweet mc's look sour
Timber as they tower, because i devour
Any other rapper and i can prove it now or
A little bit later, cause i'm a graduator
From a rhymin alma mater, but some say alma mata
Like you say patata, i say potato
Tomato, tomata, my data's up to data
Cause somethin is the matter with those of you say dada
Could mean opposite of mama, like the kids at wonderama
I'm very good at actin, i'm very good at drama
I confuse you with a period, colon and a coma
Cause when i'm rhymin and i take a pause
You think the rhyme is over but when you and yours
Really check out what i'm doin, then you say ooh
When they say who's the best mc to you
You'll look at me, then you say i know who
(moe dee, moe dee...)
It's kool moe dee
(moe dee, moe dee...)

(the best)


9.I'm Kool Moe Dee

What are you crazy, you know who i am
(moe dee!) yes, i'm the man
I am the flyest, cleanest, baddest, meanest
Rapper that walks the streets
My rhymes are always on point
Smooth as an ointment
I mitigate any beat
I'll take you where i wanna go
I sound slick when i kick it on a slow tempo
And if you ask if there's someone better than moe
Like luther vandross, they'll say, 'don't you know?
Really, really, really don't you know?'
Cause i'm a real rap warrior, elite astoria
I'll take on 104 of ya
Highest paid rappers if they put up the plucks
And i'll prove that they're all ducks
Cause i don't care nothin 'bout your money and gold
Don't wanna hear about how many recrods you sold
Cause none of that don't mean nothin to me
Cause i'm 'the greatest' - but not ali
I'm kool moe dee

What are you senile, have you lost your mind?
I'm the greatest rapper of all time
If they had a rapper's hall of fame, bein that it's all a game
I might not be down, because some rappers got a name
From screamin and yellin with hot records sellin
But your rhymes are smellin, that's why i'm tellin
You, when i go, homeboy, i'm gone
Cause i'm better but don't get me wrong
There is no disrespect meant, my only intent
Is to get some of that cold cash to spend
Consider rappin as a competitive sport
And we're all enemies on the court
But when the game is over i'll shake your hand
Give ya a pound, cause you're still my man
But if you put both of us in front of a mic stand
Homeboy, it's a new game plan
Cause i gotta disrespect ya, try to disconnect ya
Break you down like a clown cause i'm an intellect, ya
Bird brain rappers i call hip-happers
Not hip-hoppers, cause y'all just happen to
Be on a mic so you can hear your voice
But your rhymes is dunkenheins, soft and moist
Some rappers are too hard and others too soft
But i'm perfect, i just go off
Because i depict rappin consumately
Cause i'm 'the greatest' - but no ali
I'm kool moe dee

Don't piss me, i know you miss me
So now you think i fell off? don't diss me
Just use some innovation and close your eyes
And visualize us on the enterprise
And set all coordinates on the subordinate
Rappers, beam em up, take their minds and broaden it
Set em back to earth and watch the network
Multiply by mega-millions, you witness a burst
Of a new society, rappers with variety
So much prestige, flair and notoriety
Michael and prince would seem like small figures
It's hard to believe but think about it, it figures
I personify perfection and my mic is a tool
I make another rapper feel small as a molecule
There's no race no contest, i'll never have to jostle
They're small time, to them i am collossal
I'm a gladiator with the image of a god
I'm powerful but camouflaged
Like moses had the power to separate the sea
I by the power invested in me
Put words in rhythm, recite em as poem
Put em on records to display em and show em
To an entourage of fiends who are also loyal
Who through their eyes are seeing me as the royal
King that feed the hungry souls
That starve for excitement ????
The ice man cometh, kool moe dee
The messiah is rated on a higher marquee
I be a god, apex of the hip-hop cult
I'm the leader rhyme breeder, yes, i am the ult-
Imate idolized figure, there's not a name bigger
Than kool moe dee cause no one has the vigour
That i possess and that's cause i
Really feel that i'm the best, so i personify
Rap to the fullest, i totally perplex
The majority of rappers and they turn out vexed
The other competition because of my position
I don't stop rockin under no condition
I rock non-stop but don't ever fatigue
And many experts in the busines are so intrigued
That they begin to draw conclusion, some askin questions
Is it possible to rock by the power of suggestion?
Well that depends totally on the source of power
And if it's your brain, the answer's of course cause i'm a
Auto-hypnotic, reverse-pschotic
That'll make you feel, if you want it i got it
Every second you spend with me
You know you feel that this is the place to be
Because i depict rappin consumately
I'm 'the greatest' - but not ali
I'm kool moe dee